Pick a category of sounds you would like to hear
- - Scully: And you suspect what, Bigfoot. Mulder: Not likely. That's a lot of flannel to be choking down even for Bigfoot.
- - Mulder: Rugged, manly men. In the full bloom of their manhood. Scully: Right, but what am I looking for. Mulder: Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely, a boyfriend.
- - Scully: I think it's bile. Mulder: Is there anyway I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?
- - Scully: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beastwoman.
- - Scully: Those are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible. Mulder: I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot.
- - Langly: Is this your skeptical partner. Frohike: She's hot. Byers: You don't believe that the CIA, threatened by a loss of power in the economy in the collapse of the Cold War, wouldn't dream of having the old enemy back. Scully: I think you give the government too much credit. I'm mean the government can't control the deficit or manage crime. What makes you think they can plan and execute such an elaborate conspiracy? Frohike: She is hot.
- - Mulder: You could be in trouble just sitting in this car. And I'd hate to see you carry an official reprimand in your career file because of me. Scully: Fox... (Mulder laughs) Mulder: I...I even made my parents call me Mulder. Mulder. Scully: Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone, but you. Mulder: If there's an iced tea in that bag...it could be love. Scully: Must be fate, Mulder...Root beer. (Mulder sighs) Scully: You're delirious. Go home and get some sleep.
- - Scully: Okay, Mulder, but I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.
War of the Coprophages
- - Scully: Nonsensical repetitive behaviour is a common trait of mental illness. Mulder: You trying to tell me something.
- - Mulder: I, too, have spent a life the sages' way and tread once more familiar paths. Perchance I perished in an arrogant self-reliance an age ago... and in that act, a prayer for one more chance went up so earnest, so... instinct with better light let in by death that life was blotted out not so completely... but scattered wrecks enough of it to remain dim memories... as now... when seems once more... the goal in sight again.
- - Mulder: It's good to put my arms around you...both of them.
- - Cancerman: Life is like a box of chocolates...a cheap, thoughtless, perfuntory gift that nobody ever asks for...unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable, whipped, mint crap that you mindlessly wolfe down if there's nothing else left to eat. Sure once in a while there's a peanut butter cup or an English toffee, but they're gone too fast and the taste's...fleeting. So, you end up with nothing, but broken bits, filled with harden jelly and teeth shattering nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a...is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers.
- - Scully: If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you incomplete hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.
- - Mulder: Hey, Scully. Should we be picking out china patterns or what?
- - Cancerman: What is this? Skinner: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!
- - Scully: Why don't I have a desk? Mulder: What do you mean? (Scully shows him his name plate) I always assumed that was your area. Scully: Back there. Mulder: Okay, so we'll have them send down another desk. And there won't be any room to move around here, but we could put them really close together, face to face. Maybe we could play some battleship.
- - Mulder: In the future I'll make sure that all those people being interviewed provide you with a mult-media laser show to keep your interests maintained.
- - Scully: Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction, was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
- - Mulder: Eenie meenie, chili beanie. The spirits are about to speak.
- - Mulder: So, you're refusing an assignment based on the adventures of Moose and Squirrel.
- - Scully: I mean I...I...I wish I could say we were going in circles, but we're not. We're going in an endless line...two steps forward, three steps back while my own live is...standing still.
- -Scully: Look, Mulder. I have to go. Mulder: (Scoffs) What? D'you got a date or something? (Silence) Mulder: Y-your kidding. Scully: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later.
- - Mulder: All this because I...(sigh)...I didn't get you a desk? (long silence) Scully: Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life. Mulder: Yes, but it's...
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- - Scully: Mulder, what are we doing here? Mulder: Well, this is not without historical precedent. The Old West was full of traveling men who claimed to be rainmakers. The Pueblo Indians even had a rain dance. Scully: Mulder, that is not a rain dance. My Irish Aunt Olive has more Cherokee in her than Daryl Mootz. I mean, look at him, Mulder. Does that look like a man who can control the weather?
- - Hotel Manager: Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room. Scully: He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms. Hotel Manager: Oh, old-fashioned are you.
- - Mulder: He wants advice...dating advice. Scully: Dating advie? From whom? Mulder: Your's truly...Hello. Hey Scully...you there? Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date? Mulder: I will talk to you later. Scully: The blind leading the blind.
- - Holman: I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I assumed you were more experienced. You spend everyday with Agent Scully, a beautiful, enchanting woman. You mean you two never, uh...well I...I confess I find that shocking. I see how you two gaze at one another.
- - Mulder: I'll build the arc, you gather the animals.
- - Scully: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships-- the ones that last-- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
The Unnatural
- - Scully: Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet? Mulder: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.
- - Scully: It's a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle. Mulder: Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully. Scully: Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up.
- - Scully: Mulder this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for fifty years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie. Mulder: I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration. Scully: Necessity is the road to invention. Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Scully: Ye drink and may be merry for tomorrow we may die. Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice creamsicle. Scully: (laughs, "No.")
- - Arthur Dales: Arthur Dales is my brother. My name also happens to be Arthur Dales. It's the same name, different guy. The other Arthur, he moved to Florida the lucky bastard. Now, our parents weren't exactly big in the imagination department when it came to names. If it would help you wrapping your little head around this stupefying mystery, Agent Mulder we had a sister named Arthur, too and a goldfish.
- - Scully: I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around so, what gives? Mulder: You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully? Scully: No, I guess I have, uh... found more necessary things to do with my time than... slap a piece of horsehide with a stick. Mulder: Get over here, Scully.
- - Mulder: Hello. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Oh no, no, Miss Scully. The pleasure's all mine.
- - Mulder: Now, what you may find, is that while you concentrate on hitting that little ball, the rest of the world just fades away...All your nagging concerns, the ticking biological clock, how you probably couldn't afford that nice, new suede coat on a G-woman's salary, how you threw away a promising career in medicine to hunt aliens with your crackpot, albeit brilliant parnter, getting at the heart of a global conspriacy, your obscenely overdue triple x bill. Oh, I'm...I'm sorry Scully. I the last two were problems of mine not yours. Scully: Shut up, Mulder. I'm playing baseball.
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- Scully: Mulder, his head was cut off.
Mulder: Oh, observe the nearly complete absence of blood. Observe the paucity of finger prints as evidenced by LAPD's liberal use of lycopodium powder.
Scully: Why are you talking like Tony Randall?
Mulder: Know that The Amazing Maleeni was alive one minute and expired the next. Know also that no one saw his fleeing attacker or heard the dying man's cries.
- - Scully: Time passes in moments, moments which rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead toward its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path? To see the reasons why all things happen? To consider whether the path we take in life is are own making or simply one into which we drift eyes closed. But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life, and seeing those chances choose another path?
- Hear It
- - Scully: Well, I know what'd he'd say. He'd say that you're some kind of a genie from a thousand and one nights or something like that and that you grant people wishes.
- Genie: Well there you have it.
- Mulder: Well, one thing I haven't been able to figure out is whether you're a good genie or an evil one. Everybody you come into contact with seems to meet a bad end.
- Genie: That's the conclusion you've drawn? That I'm evil?
- Mulder: Or possibly evil. Possibly cursed. A curse to others...
- Genie: The only thing that people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you! Everybody! Mankind! Everyone I have ever come into contact with, without fail. Always asking for the wrong thing.
- Mulder: You mean making the wrong wishes.
- Genie: Yeah, it's always: Give me money. Give me big boobs. Give me a big hoo-hoo. Make me cool like the Fonz...Or whoever's the big name now.
- Mulder: You've been out of circulation a long time.
- Genie: So what? In five hundreds years people have not changed a bit.
- Scully: Five hundred years?
- Genie: Granted they smell better now, generally speaking. But human greed still reigns. Shallowness. A propensity for self-destruction.
- Scully: You're saying that-that you have been a first hand witness to five hundred years of human history?
- Genie: I used to be human. I was born in 15th century France. And then one day an old moor came to my village peddling rugs. And I unrolled one that an Efrit had taken residence in.
- Scully: An Efrit.
- Genie: A very powerful class of genie. He offered me three wishes. For the first, I asked for a stout-hearted mule. For the second, a magic sack that was always filled with turnips..Did I mention this was 15th century France?
- Mulder: And what was your third wish?
- Genie: For my third, I pondered a great while. I didn't want to waste it. So, finally, feeling very intelligent I spoke up and I said, "Je souhaite un grand pouvoir et la longue vie." I wished for great power and long life.
- Mulder: And thus became a genie yourself.
- Genie: With the mark of the gen. Right there. It's forever. Sort of like a prison tattoo. I should have been more specific.
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- - Scully: I had you. Mulder: No, you didn't. Scully: Oh, yeah. I had you big time. Mulder: You had nothing.
- - Mulder: I'm the key figure in an on-going government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet. (laughter) So, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky....Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling...
- Scully: Are you drunk, Mulder? Mulder: I...I was until about twenty minutes ago, yeah. Scully: Was that before or after you decided to come here? Mulder: What exactly are you implying?
- - Mulder: You've kept me honest. You've made me a whole person. I owe you everything. Scully, you owe me nothing.
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