From: kruggie@ibm.net Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 17:58:58 -0400 Subject: Every Road; MSR, V, A by Kris Ruggiero "Every Road" by Kris Ruggiero kruggi@aol.com----->I'd love some feedback! http://members.xoom.com/krisr Classification: MSR, A Spoilers: Post-The Pine Bluff Variant Rating: PG Summary: Will Mulder find the courage to tell Scully the truth? Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder and Scully are the property of Fox, 1013 Productions and Chris Carter. No infringement is intended. I'm just taking the characters out for a spin! Dedication: For Pat, who provided the inspiration. ************************************************************ Mulder smiled as he walked, oblivious to his surroundings. His weariness and his intense fear had faded into the background of his mind. One singular thought kept playing over and over again in his head, reverberating like a tolling bell. Two men followed a few paces behind him, one who would take his life, the other who would watch it happen. A cold breeze slapped against Mulder's cheeks. One side of his mouth curved upward, another half-smile playing across his features. He couldn't believe it had come to this, that he would have to be walking towards his own demise to finally admit the truth to himself. Mulder wished he could laugh. The irony was enough to send him into hysterics. He had been searching for the truth, his truth, for as long as he could remember. His quest had become his entire life. It consumed him, fed him, drove him. Nothing else mattered, or so he thought. All this time, Mulder had marked the passage of time with the endless longing for answers. He thought nothing of the future or of his life beyond what it had become. A ceaseless search. Two steps forward only to be shoved one giant step back. Time after time. There had been nothing else. Until Scully. Until the day she arrived, it had all been the same. Running to turn the next corner. Until that one day, the door opened, and he took a look behind him. Things had not been the same since. Mulder closed his eyes just long enough to conjure up the image of her face. And say a silent word of thanks to the person who had changed his life. His one overwhelming wish was that he could tell Scully in person, that he could look into her eyes and see the light of the truth he had fought so desperately to find. Mulder expelled a grateful sigh as he walked. With every step, it seemed as if the weight of the world he had carried so long was falling in bits and pieces around him. The moment of realization brought him a peace he thought was lost to him. He wasn't supposed to fall in love. Not with Scully. Not like this. Not so completely. But he had. Somewhere along the line, as he had journeyed through the past five years of his life, Mulder had done the one thing he had thought was more improbable than the existence of little green men. He had fallen in love. Deeply. Completely. Irrevocably. No taking this one back. No mistaking it for something else. Mulder was in love. And walking towards death. He bit his lip. Torn pieces of plastic hanging from the canopy of the wooden beams of a long-deserted structure danced and twisted in the looping breeze. The shards of plastic whipped at his face, trying to jar him from his Scully-induced reverie. Mulder sidestepped them, never once breaking stride. There was no way out. His gun was gone. If he ran, the scumbag behind him would shoot him in the back of the head. It would happen anyway, once they were away from the others. Mulder just wanted to buy himself a little bit more time. To reminisce. To remember all the tiny things he took for granted every day of his life. His mind thrust his memories in front of him. All of Scully. What it felt like to gently rest his hand on the small of her back as he led her through a door. How a morning never failed to pass without his anticipation of seeing her. He could smell the perfume she always wore. He could see the wispy fan of her copper hair as it fell across her cheek when she read. Every little nuance that was uniquely Scully had been stored in his brain, precious little nuggets of memory that were his and his alone. God, I love her, he thought. Everything about her. She questioned every damn theory I had and never laughed at my jokes, but I love her more than anything in this world. If he could have one wish, it would be to have the chance to finally have the balls to tell her. He just wanted one more moment to sit in a car with her, just to be next to her, just to have her there, to not have to be alone. It was all he wanted. Nothing else mattered now. Not even the truth. Mulder had found it anyway. It had been right next to him all this time. He was too busy looking in all the wrong places when fate had let his destiny walk into his basement office five years ago. He had hated her on first sight. She was just somebody sent to shut him down. But he had fallen in love when she had so blindly given him her trust. That night in the motel in Oregon. Their first case. Scully hadn't wanted to be there, and she sure as hell didn't believe a damn thing he said. Or so she said. But a very small part of her didn't think he was totally crazy. She had come to him, fear stripping her defenses from her. She had handed him her trust that night. In the darkness broken by the light of one meager candle. In that one brief moment, everything changed for Mulder. He had found the soul who'd be with him on his journey. No more solitude. No more working alone. He had a partner, a friend, and so much more. Only Scully never knew. He never told her. And now it was too late. The walk ended. Mulder remained oblivious until his knees were on the ground. The stones dug at his flesh through his jeans. He linked his hands behind him. And waited for the inevitable. He would see Scully again. Of that he was sure. What he desperately wanted to know was how long he was going to have to wait to be with her. ************************************************************ A shot rang out in the thick stillness. The sun was shining bright and strong. Mulder lunged forward, but strangely felt no pain. He figured getting his head blown off might hurt for just a second, but he didn't feel a damn thing. Up until the moment the gimp's body landed right behind him. Bremer leaned over his shoulder. His breath was hot in his ear. "There's a car just over the rise. Go." Mulder sucked in a lungful of frigid air. "Who are you?" "Go. They'll kill both of us if they find us." No more thoughts entered Mulder's head. Except for one. His legs wobbled, barely able to support his weight. Mulder ran, slow at first. And then faster. And faster still. He kept running, feet slamming against dirt, stones and dried grass. The car was where Bremer said it would be. A lone key was stuck in the ignition. Mulder tried the door. It opened easily, and he slid into the driver's side. His shaking hands turned the key in the ignition, and the car gunned to life. Involuntary impulse made him look at the passenger seat. He saw the raise of one eyebrow and the slightest hint of a twinkle in the glorious blue of her eyes. "Mulder, are you ready to go?" He white-knuckled the wheel. Instinctively he knew she wasn't really there. But she'd be beside him soon enough. Another chance had been handed to him. Some freak of nature or twist of fate had bought him a little more time. Mulder pounded on the gas, knowing where he would end up. Home. Life. The light of the truth. All roads led to Scully. ************************************************************ "Mulder, are you coming?" Scully was waiting by the driver's side of her car. He studied for a moment, disbelief etching lines across his forehead. "Are you okay, Mulder?" She was staring at him now, her blue eyes searching his face. Mulder could scarcely believe she was real. This time, his imagination was not playing tricks on him. Scully was a beautiful reality. They were standing just outside the bank, and Scully was waiting to take him home. Only problem was that Mulder didn't really want to go to his apartment. He just wanted to be wherever Scully was. All he needed was the courage to tell her. Her brows lifted, eyes widening. The same cool breeze ruffled her hair about her face. The look he saw in her eyes was clear without her saying a word. He could read her thoughts. "I'm fine, Scully." He swallowed a heavy lump in his throat. Those weren't the three words he wanted to say. The words were in his head and on his lips. Mulder lifted his hand. Scully's hair was blowing in the breeze. The backs of his fingers grazed the soft strands. Before he could return his hand to his side, Scully's fingers slid around the palm of his hand. And didn't let go. "I know, Mulder," was all she said. Three little words. But the light he saw in her eyes meant more to him than anything. She was more than his truth. Scully was his reality. The End